Cold Approaching

The boy and girl will be in a department store looking for winter hats for the boy’s head. They will be looking around, they will be holding hands, which neither one will want to let go of to pick up the items that catch their eyes. Both will be happy to be there, together, looking at things they cannot afford. The girl will wish for him to try on all kinds of headgear: cowboy hats, berets, fedoras; anything that might be goofy and delight her. She will want this because she is clever and thinks it will be amusing to have him try on different funny hats. She will desire this because she thinks he does not laugh enough. The boy, however, knows that winter is already upon him, so he is determined to find something warm.
“C’mon. Seriously, I need to find something that is high-quality,” he will always say. This will be her cue to put down the ridiculous hat and quit playing around.
They will talk about marriage when they shop.
“Okay. What about over here?” She will point at some sober stocking caps.
“Yeah,” he will say as he moves, pleased, toward the pointed items.
Trying them on, none will fit. He will complain about the green being to green, or the yellow being too bright. Others will be too big, made for people with hair –too small, made for the children of people with hair. “Why can’t they just have a black one?”
She will joke about his lack of hair, but he will not find this witty, although he usually does on other occasions. She will patiently watch as he tries on different hats, giving honest feedback and knowing it is not helping. He will become angrier, say things like: damn hat, piece of shit material, and what the fuck is the use. She will wince with each and every obvious word. She will not know what to do. She will move towards the back of the store, while looking over her shoulder for approval. She will justify his words as if not such bad words, then she will motion him over to the thick warm faux-fur Russian hats. She will giggle, quietly waiting for his agreement before reaching full laughter. It is funny to him, so he will decide to laugh. She will laugh harder.
They will talk about how fun marriage will be, and then they will hug and feel good.
“Try it on,” she will say.
“Naw.” He will feel stupid.
“C’mon.” She will nudge him, smiling.
“Naw, they look silly.”
“Ah, give her a try.” She will say jokingly, like she wants him to test drive it. She will put it on his head, feeling like a mother with a child in winter.
“Fuck. Just give it here!”
She will wince. He will feel self-conscious and turn to walk away. He will move around the store and speak pleasantly to the salespeople and other customers, striking up friendly conversations. Every once in a while he will look back across the store to make sure she is safe. She will always be standing there, so he will continue to speak in friendly tones to strangers until he calms down. He will go over how he reacted; thinking that maybe he should be sillier, and he will realize that he loves her.
She will stand there holding the ridiculous hat, tears outlining her eyes. She will keep her head slightly tilted forward so the customers and employees will not see her tears. She will eventually, after the shock of his words, pretend to study the price tags of items she does not care about. She will think that he should lighten up, or perhaps she doesn’t know how to be serious. Then she will think, seriously, it is getting cold and he doesn’t have any hair. She will feel bad about all the stupid jokes she has made and wished she hadn’t. She will know she loves him and doesn’t want to lose him.
They will both move towards each other. They will shop and think about marriage, hoping that the other might move closer for forgiveness. They will look at gloves, scarves, and all the things they do not care about in order to move closer to where the other stands. Somehow, they will arrive at the faux-fur bomber hats on the top display shelf at the back of the store.
“What do you think of these?” She will point, wanting to smile, but waiting for him to acknowledge the hat.
“I don’t know…” He will want to crack a joke, but will anxiously add, “What do you think?” He will pick up the hat and put it sensitively on to his flushed head. He will hope it shows his sense of humor. She will smile. He will feel better.
“Well it’s a hat.” She will resist the urge to break into laughter.
“Feels small.” He will begin laughing. She will begin laughing.
They will hug each other while laughing.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Well let’s look at a bigger size.” She will move toward the shelf.
He will do some playful dance for her in the small hat, and thinking it isn’t funny, he will stop. He will feel awkward. She will not notice, because she will be fumbling through the hats looking at different sizes. She will be concentrating hard to find the perfect size for him. He will pull the hat as far down as possible on his reddened head. His face will feel squashed and twisted like a cartoon character. “Look.” He will laugh.
“Try this one.” She will say.
He will feel stupid. He will jerk the hat off and throw it on the shelf. He will snatch the hat from her and put it on too quickly. It will not sit right on his head, and he will not notice, “Well?”
She will sense his anger. She will not know why he is angry. She will make a joke and say something witty. She will want to make them happy.
“Seriously.” He will say.